Have you experienced being envious of other people?
Maybe it’s because of their house, car, position, or status in life?
Do you feel sorry for yourself when you see other people get the things you want to have in this life but don’t?
“She got promoted, and I didn’t.”
“He’s the favorite son. I’m not.”
“He has already bought his own house and car. What about me? What have I achieved? Nothing.”
“His business is doing so well, while mine is falling apart.”
Most of us believe that “life is unfair” because we see that the things that we work so hard for suddenly end up being instantly and effortlessly achieved by other people. We can’t help but wonder, is fate playing tricks on me? Is the world conspiring against me?
The downside to this kind of thinking is that there’s a huge tendency for people to focus on what is lacking in their lives instead of being grateful for what they have right now. As a result, people feel negative instead of blessed.
So what is it that causes envy?
Low self-esteem
A person who has low self-confidence is very likely to feel envious of other people.
If we think about it, we were all created equally – we all have the ability to think and the ability to be successful in this life.
The only difference is, some people focus their attention on other people instead of on their own selves. When you start doing this, you are only bringing yourself down. Instead of helping yourself to become a better person, you’re only making yourself lose confidence and trust in your own self.
Pride
“She doesn’t deserve it.”
“Doesn’t he have an unsettled issue? Why was he promoted?”
“He didn’t use his own money – he just loaned it from the bank.”
Another type of envy comes from the mindset that other people are not deserving of the blessing that they received. And because they are not deserving of it, we feel that it’s us who should have received the blessing, not them.
In this case, envy results from self-centeredness. People feel envious of others because they are attention-seekers – they want to be above everyone else, and for everyone to think highly of them.
Comparison
We don’t ever want to be compared with other people. Being compared with others fuels the envy in our hearts.
For example:
“He graduated cum laude. What about you?”
“He was already able to buy his own house and car. How come you haven’t when you’ve been working much longer than him?”
“He didn’t finish college but his business is doing well. You finished college, right? Why can’t you get it right with your business?”
In effect, you start to feel envious of the people you are being compared to because they are the ones receiving the praises, compliments, and acknowledgements that you want so bad to receive yourself.
Obsessed with status
But then again, we can’t deny the fact that there will always be people who will be more than ourselves. They are better at something, much smarter, richer, more capable, more knowledgeable than us.
Envy is what happens when we see other people as a threat rather than as an inspiration to do better. The very moment that someone takes over our throne or our status symbol, we feel bad for ourselves and angry with the person.
THINK. REFLECT. REPY.
Why are you feeling envious of other people?
What are the achievements or possessions that you can be proud of about yourself?
How can you live a life of gratitude?